


After Weirdmageddon

by dementor_ssc



Series: Transcendence AU drabbles [1]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe - Transcendence, Gen, Origin Story, Post-Weirdmageddon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2016-04-12
Packaged: 2018-06-01 04:27:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6500806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dementor_ssc/pseuds/dementor_ssc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dipper thought beating Bill had been the end of it. There was no way anything of Bill could have escaped Grunkle Stan's mind, right?</p><p>A Transcendence AU origin fic/drabble/thing that tries to bridge TAU canon with the GF season finale. Weirdmageddon happened exactly the way we saw it happen in the show. Things after that... got weird.</p><p>Mostly Ford-centric. You don't need to have read TAU to understand this, but you should still go and read it. (It's awesome. Go on, I'll wait.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> Long time lurker, first time poster. This thing is also posted on my tumblr (flying-guinea-pig.tumblr.com).
> 
> Oh, and chapter warning for a tiny bit of underage drinking. Like a mouthful.

White.

There was no place to flee as the mind of Stanley Pines crumbled around him, faded into blinding, burning white. They'd **tricked** him.

He couldn't help the flare of amusement. Who would have thought some dumb fleshbags could ever beat him? He sure hadn't!

But as the memories of Stanley Pines disappeared around him, as he begged and pleaded with that s̜̣͇t̺̞̝͞ͅú̥̺p͍͝i̞͘d͇ ̷͈m̞̙̩̱̰̠͖o̫̥r͍t̥̻̼al͕̦ ̥̝̤̣͕̲̥w͇̖ho̙͈̹̞̗̣ͅ ̝̘͍ḩ̲̲a̞͜d͚͖͖͜ **͈͓̭̦͍ͯ t̹͎͈͛ͤr̦̭̻͇̠ͤỉ͎̻̱̝̅ͧͨ̚c̜̘̳̽͋͗͛̉̀k̗̣̦̀̀ͭ̊̈ͥ̓ͫͥe͓͓̒ͫͥd̻̱͔̦̼̖ͩͣͬ̇ ͈̻̬̞͈͈̈ͨ̾̃ͥͧͅh̠̦̱̖̞̰͈̝̱̎ͤ̋̿i͕̳̰̣͍͇̣̐̍ͦ̂m̱̫̗̼͙̬̔̌** , he became aware of it.

There. A back door, a way out, **he was not beaten yet** -

Pine Tree had forgotten something, hadn't he?

It wouldn't have worked if the kid hadn't been standing so close. It wouldn't have worked _at_ _all_ if the kid had remembered to put a deadline in the deal they made.

Bill Cipher jumped ship, fled to the unsuspecting mind of Dipper Pines, a flesh puppet he would have so much **FUN** with, sent his entire being and power into that last way out of here -

\- and shattered into thousands, billions of sharp golden fragments, scattering and burning as he was **too late** , the mind blanking around him and snuffing out the last remaining bits of the demon Bill Cipher.

Bill Cipher was gone.

The connection he'd initiated with Dipper's body shone brightly in the colourless world of the Mindscape. Then it broke and disappeared as the demon faded into nonexistence, leaving nothing but a faint golden glow inside Dipper Pines.

* * *

  


Outside the Mindscape the Pines family mourned Grunkle Stan's sacrifice. Outside the Mindscape Gravity Falls became - not normal, but as close to normal as it had always been.

Outside the Mindscape, Dipper had no clue what Bill had attempted. Life went on.

* * *

  


The first one to notice something wrong was Ford.

Don't get him wrong, he was happy - happy and relieved! - that Stanley's memories were coming back. But it made no sense.

Yes, McGucket - poor man - was living proof that memories could come back after being blasted with the Eraser Gun, with time and patience and something to jog them. **Time** was the problem here. Even McGucket hadn't managed to reclaim all his memories yet. Stanley's entire mind had been blanked! There should have been nothing left to jog! And even if he could recover, it shouldn't have happened in mere hours after the zapping!

But he could not deny the proof. His brother was sitting on his couch in the wrecked remains of the Mystery Shack, Mabel's scrapbook on his lap, the kids and Soos excitably telling him about every picture. Every once in a while Stanley would comment and the kids would grin and hug and it was obvious Stan was remembering... well, _everything_ , as the sky outside turned dark and the scrapbook neared its end.

Had the Memory Gun been faulty? Did this mean Bill wasn't entirely gone either?

* * *

  


Dipper hadn't been sleeping well lately.

Actually, it seemed like he hadn't been sleeping at all. Every single time Stan got up in the middle of the night - he was becoming an old man, he got up a lot for various reasons, none of your business - he would find Dipper awake on the couch, huddled underneath a multicolored woollen blanket. They'd fixed up the Shack as best they could for the moment, but it was still kinda breezy in here.

Dipper seemed pale as a ghost in the blueish light of the television, where some silly deep-sea documentary was playing. He'd turned down the sound entirely, probably not to wake anybody. Smart kid.

"Can't sleep?"

Dipper shook his head, without glancing away from the screen.

"Wanna talk about it?"

He cringed at the idea of having some kind of heart-to-heart touchy-feely talk with the kid, but who else was there? Stan had seen some messed up sh- _stuff_ in his life, and that whole Weirdmageddon business was enough to traumatize anyone, even him. No guessing what it could've done to the kids.

Dipper shook his head again, still silent. Stan hesitated in the doorway.

"It's over, kid," he said. "Not much of a comfort 'cause it all still happened, but it's over. Nobody died, the bad guy is gone, everything will turn out fine."

"I don't know Grunkle Stan." He sounded so small. Was he really already twelve? Nearly thirteen, Stan reminded himself. Kids that age made a big deal about their birthdays.

"Nightmares?" Stan asked. He could commiserate.

Dipped nodded en pulled up his knees, making himself even smaller. "They're always the same," he said. "I can't make sense of them."

"Not everything makes sense, kid. You've been through a lot, you and your sister. Of course you're not fine. But you will be. It'll take time but you'll get there."

Was that supportive and helpful enough? He hoped so. He wasn't good at comforting talks and he knew he was probably making a mess of things.

Well. Summer was almost over. The kids would be going home soon, back to their parents - they were probably better at this.

He hoped Mark and Anna wouldn't suddenly decide to pick the kids up themselves. He hadn't seen them in forever. It would be pretty awkward explaining that no, they hadn't sent their kids to Grunkle Stanford the reclusive but responsible scientist, they actually sent them to Grunkle Stanley the con man. Who was legally declared dead. There were some explanations in Stan's future he was not looking forward to. If Ford's decision to take back the Mystery Shack as his base of operations was still unchanged, and he still wanted to kick Stan out...

Oh well. He'd started a new life once or twice before. He could do it again, if necessary.

But he probably should have an actual talk with his brother before making any decisions. Things had been a bit different after that whole trick-Bill-into-my-mind-and-erase-everything. They'd been much to busy fixing up the Shack into something inhabitable again to worry about the future.

He gave Dipper a - hopefully reassuring - shoulder pat and decided, what the heck, he was the irresponsible Grunkle anyway so why not: "You need something to help you sleep?"

Dipper blinked up at him. His tired eyes reflected the blueish glow of the television screen. "Depends on what you mean with 'something', Grunkle Stan."

"Just wait kid."

Stan went back to his room and unlocked the liquor cabinet. He returned to the living room and offered Dipper a tiny shot glass filled with a mouthful of clear liquid that definitely wasn't water. "Just one though," he warned the kid. "And then you'll go to bed and close your eyes 'til morning, deal?"

"You're a bad example, Grunkle Stan." But Dipper smiled and reached for the glass. "Deal." His fingers brushed Stan's for a second, and Stan nearly dropped the glass. For one crazy second he thought he saw blue sparks around Dippers hands, just like -

But that must have been the television with that creepy deep-sea documentary. Just his imagination.

Dipper took a tiny sip and coughed like a twelve year old who had his first sip of hard liquor. Stan thumped his shoulder. "Now off to bed. And don't go telling anyone I gave you a night cap, ye hear me? Your parents would probably kill me and Mabel wouldn't stop begging until she could have a taste, which would make your parents kill me twice as hard. You're too young for this stuff."

Dipper grinned and threw back the rest of the glass. The resulting coughing fit and tearful eyes were hilarious.

Giving booze to twelve year olds. Stan was surely going to hell for this. But it was one little mouthful and hey, it would help the kid get to sleep a bit quicker. He only hoped this first taste of alcohol wouldn't lead to Dipper's first hangover in the morning, because he had no idea how he was going to explain that.

* * *

  


There was a party. There were tearful goodbyes. There was a heart-to-heart between both Stans, a decision made to go explore the world, to go on a adventure together, as soon as they had the funds to buy a boat and everything else they needed.

There was a bus driving to the border of Gravity Falls, with two kids inside. Mabel was cuddling with Waddles, coaching her pig to look his cutest when they'd arrive in Piedmont.

Dipper was staring out of the window. He would miss Gravity Falls. The weirdness, the adventure - and yes, the nightmares were there too, but at least he wasn't alone in those. Everyone in Gravity Falls knew what they'd been through. How could they ever explain this to their parents? How could they ever settle in as normal kids in boring old Piedmont, after this wild and crazy summer?

The sign proclaiming 'Now leaving Gravity Falls' was getting closer. Their summer holidays were almost officially over -

The bus passed the sign.

Dipper's world turned into fire.

* * *

  


Mabel saw her brother being thrown out of the bus, crashing through the back window, being dragged from the bus by a multicoloured bubble that flashed in the entire sky around Gravity Falls.

The bus driver hit the brakes, but Mabel didn't wait for the bus to stop completely before jumping out and running towards her brother.

He groaned and sat up. His face was peppered with little cuts from the broken glass.

"What happened?" he slurred. "Did we hit a tree?" Before Mabel could argue he got up, took one, two steps, and walked right into a rainbow wall that had been completely invisible one second before. He fell on his but and stared.

The colours bled through the sky and faded again. Mabel remembered seeing that bubble before. This was the weirdness bubble that had kept Weirdmageddon inside of Gravity Falls. And now, for some reason, it also kept her brother inside.

* * *

  



	2. Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Transcendence happens. Nice Job Breaking It, Hero!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited because apparently I can read 100+ fanfics about someone and then still manage to spell their name wrong.
> 
> I usually only write in Dutch, mistakes are bound to happen... Anyone see a typo or weird grammatical thing? Let me know and I'll fix it!

"I swear I didn't do this on purpose."

Mabel rolled her eyes. " I know you didn't, Dipdop."

They were sitting on a log at the side of the road. The bus driver was making a hurried phone call. Waddles was exploring the little pond next to the road and was already covered in duckweed.

"It's just, I don't want you to think that I did some kind of spell so I couldn't leave and I had to stay and become Grunkle Ford's lab assistent because I _promised_ to go with you and besides I don't even _want_ to stay not really, even if Grunkle Stan and Ford weren't leaving soon to sail the seven seas or whatever they are planning and -"

"Shhh." She put her finger against his lips and he got the hint. "You're rambling."

His face stung from the little cuts and bruises crashing through the backseat window had left him with. "Yeah," he said. "Sorry. It's just... I don't understand what's happening."

"Hey, we'll figure it out," Mabel promised. She punched his shoulder. "You wanted to stay with Grunkle Ford and become Doctor McNerdmeister, right? Here's your chance! And I'll be your awesome lab assistent. We could be the Science Twins!"

"I'm never calling myself that."

"Science Twins?"

"The other thing." Dipper smiled. "Thanks sis. I'm sorry I ruined our bus drive home."

"Pfft, it's nothing. You said it bro-bro. Whatever happens, we'll do it together."

They shared a smile, before the sound of screeching wheels and a thundering exhaust pipe announced the arrival of the Stanmobile.

"Besides, Grunkle Ford can probably fix this. We'll be back on our way home before you know it!"

The doors of the Stanmobile opened and both Grunkles ran out - Grunkle Stan a bit short of breath, Grunkled Ford with his hand hovering near the futuristic gun at his side.

"What happened? Are you kids okay? Dipper?"

"You'll never believe it," Mabel said. "Come on Dipper, show them!"

Dipper sighed and stood up. He carefully took three steps towards the bus, and waved his arms in front of him.

"Did he hit his head or something?" Grunkle Stan said out of the corner of his mouth, his eyes on Dipper.

Dipper groaned. "No, wait, it was here somewhere -"

His hand made contact with something invisible and slightly elastic. With a faint twanging sound the entire world seemed to ripple for a moment, colours appearing and disappearing so quickly it was almost as if he had imagined them. He pushed again. It burned... strangely. Kind of cold and tingly.

"I can't get through for some reason."

If anyone could figure this out, it was Grunkle Ford. He hoped -

**"Bill."**

"Hey!"

Dipper turned around. The sound of protest had come from Mabel, who was being pushed back by Grunkle Ford.

"Hey knucklehead, what are you doing?" Grunkle Stan said, when Ford took an obviously defensive pose between Dipper and the others. "Are you crazy? You can't point that thing at the kids!"

"Stay out of this Stanley." Grunkle Ford kept his gun trained on Dipper, his other hand busy with keeping Mabel behind him. " _That_ is not Dipper. It's Bill."

"Don't be stupid!" Mabel argued. "We beat Bill! Besides, when he possesses someone their eyes... go all wonky..."

Her voice trailed off and she stopped fighting against Ford's hold.

"Dipper?"

Why did she sound so careful suddenly? So... uncertain?

"What?" He asked. "Have I got something on my face?"

"Quit the games, Cipher!" Grunkle Ford gestured with the gun. "Let Dipper go!"

"But I'm not Bill!" What was going on? Why did they suddenly all look so horrified? "This makes no sense - I'm just me!"

"This is your last warning Cipher," Grunkle Ford threatened. "Let Dipper go or I _will_ shoot."

Dipper's mouth fell open. "You can't be serious," he said, and hated how his voice cracked. "I'm your nephew!"

Grunkle Fords reply was bitter. "Dipper is better off dead than possessed by the likes of you."

_"GAAAAAAAAAAA-"_

"Mabel!"

With a fierce war cry Mabel avoided both Grunkles and jumped at Dipper. He slammed against the invisible shield, reality rippling, his back burning even through his clothes where he touched the containment bubble.

"Let my brother go!"

She pummeled his chest and face and - did she just knock out a tooth? **Seriously!?**

"Mabel, stop! _Stop!_ It's _me!_ Cut it ou̢t̝͉̩̟!"

He pushed her away and was suprised to notice she skidded back a lot further than expected. He hadn't pushed her that hard, right?

Grunkle Stan grabbed her by her sweater before she could throw herself at Dipper again, but Mabel in full Battle Mode was not easily stopped.

"- ouch, Mabel, quit it - my nose _damn it all to heck_ \- not the ears! _Not the ears!_ "

Dipper took some deep breaths and tried to ignore the weird painful-but-not-exactly feeling from his back. Grunkle Ford's gun made an ominous humming sound.

"Your plan failed, Bill."

Dipper ducked before a harsh light burst from the barrel. This had to be a nightmare, right? This was not really happening? _Grunkle Ford wasn't really shooting at him, right?_

"You can't cross the barrier, not even in a possessed body." Grunkle Ford accentuated his words with another blast from the gun. Dipper just barely missed it - one of the flaps of Wendy's hat caught fire and Dipper threw the hat on the ground with a little scream.

"I'm sorry Dipper," Grunkle Ford said, his voice rough. He turned some dials on the side of his gun. The humming became louder, the glow from the barrel brighter. "But I can't let Bill escape. I _won't_. Saving the world is more important than saving my family. I'm - I'm so sorry."

Dippers eyes widened. His back was pressed against the barrier, making ripples in the sky. Grunkle Ford pointed the gun right between his eyes. Nowhere to go.

"You _idiot!_ "

The gun was knocked aside but still went off - the blast going wide and hitting the rippling sky. Dipper took the opportunity to hide behind the log.

Wake up Dipper... Wake up, it's just a nightmare...

"What did you do!" Grunkle Ford yelled at Stan, who was keeping him pinned on the ground. "Do you _want_ Cipher to win?"

" You listen here, Ford. _Nothing_ is more important than family," Grunkle Stan said. "We made that mistake once, we're not making it again. We'll fix Dipper. No matter what."

"You will put the entire world at risk -"

"The world can go to hell for all I care! _Listen_ \- that thing inside the kid can't leave, so you have plenty of time to figure something out, smart guy. Something that doesn't include shooting out your nephew's brains!"

"Um, guys?"

Mabel wasn't restrained any more, but she hadn't moved closer to Dipper. Her eyes were large and glued on the sky.

Dipper followed her gaze and swallowed.

This time the ripples hadn't died out when he stopped touching the barrier. The sky was filled with colours and glowing lights, a huge bubble of weirdness surrounding the entire Gravity Falls area, almost like the sky of Weirdmageddon, the sky of Dippers nightmares, but stretched thin and contained -

He could see the ruptures. Two small ones, near the bus. A big, pulsing one higher up in the sky.

The blasts Dipper had avoided. It had to be.

"No no no _no no_ **_no_!** " Ford pushed Grunkle Stan aside. "I must have hit the right frequency by accident - were did he go? The barrier is going to fall, we can't let him escape, we must _fix this_ but _how_ , who knows what might happen if this breaks -"

Dipper wasn't going to wait around to be shot at again. He started running.

Yelling behind him, the humming of the gun, the crackle of leaves and twigs as he left the road and escaped into the forest -

He should have watched were he was going.

He slammed into the barrier, now visible as a layer of hypnotic colours. The sound of running and yelling was getting closer.

He loved Mabel. And Grunkle Stan, and Grunkle Ford. But they were convinced he was possessed by Bill and _they'd tried to shoot him, he had to get away until everything made sense again_ -

He pushed against the barrier with everything he had and through the burning he felt it, finally, yield.

The barrier fractured. Colours and lights burst out, spreading through the skies beyond Gravity Falls.

His own words, spoken not that long ago even though it felt like ages, were the last thing that echoed through his head before his mind was swallowed by golden light.

_I don't know what's gonna happen in the future. But whatever it is, you don't need to fear, because we'll do it together._

He was alone.

 


	3. Part Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ford tries to fix things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo... warning for character death but not really? I'm actually a demon that feeds on your feels. Also, let me know if you notice any huge grammar or spelling mistakes. English is not my first language (still no excuse for misspelling Bill's name all the time, sheesh, after reading so many fics you'd think I could spell Cipher correctly but NO).

He would always remember the moment he saw the sky ripple and Dipper's eyes change.

How had Bill done it? How did he manage to stay hidden that long, without even Mabel noticing something wrong with her twin? Had it still been Dipper at the party, Dipper who hugged his Grunkles goodbye before they left? Or had that all been one big acting performance?

He tried to contain Bill but his actions had only made things worse. Bill managed to flee. Then rainbow lightning cracked the sky and Ford knew something irreparable had just been broken.

The barrier which had been created by Gravity Falls' Natural Law of Weirdness Magnetism, the barrier keeping all of the supernatural contained... had ruptured.

It was easy to pinpoint exactly where it happened. He did not need a bird's view to see the shape burned into the forest, trees knocked flat like matchsticks, only scorched wood and blackened earth left. A big eye. Surrounded by - no, that wasn't a triangle, was it? Too many points, too many sides. It looked like... a star?

In the center of it all was Dipper. Unmoving.

Barely recognisable.

Dead.

A flash of color, a cry as Mabel ran past him and kneeled by her brother's body. She pulled him towards her and at her touch he fell apart, until there was nothing left but ashes.

\---

It was a tense ride back to the Mystery Shack. On the backseat Mabel was crying, her sobs muffled by the sweater she'd pulled over her head and tucked her knees in.

"Mister Pines! Mister Pines you have to see this!" Soos came running out of the Mystery Shack as soon as Stan turned of the car engine. "It's real freaky dudes - oh hey Mabel! Didn't expect you back so soon, where's Dipper?"

Ford ignored the questions and went inside. What he saw on the television made his blood run cold.

The supernatural wasn't contained in Gravity Falls anymore.

Weirdmageddon had gone global.

Stan came in and they watched the news feed together. There weren't demons dancing through the skies yet, no sign of the Fearamid or huge monsters that roamed the streets. But gnomes, fairies, even zombies - all those creatures of myth and legend that had called Gravity Falls home even before Weirdmageddon happened, were appearing all over the world, no longer contained to the paranormal hot spots Ford researched. The world panicked.

"This is your fault," Ford said.

"Yeah?" His twin didn't even glance at him. "I wasn't the one _shooting_ at that barrier thingy."

Ford shut up.

\---

"Triangulum, entangulum."

He lit the last candle. Seven others were already burning.

"Meteforis dominus ventium. Meteforis venetisarium."

This was an extremely bad idea.

He didn't need help drawing Bill's circle. Now he knew what the zodiac meant, how it could work as a kind of switch, tuning the demon to the physical realm so it became visible and able to interact with humans. Or, when the Zodiac had been assembled and every person held hands, how the switch could be used the other way around to send the demon back into the Mindscape.

The pine tree caught his eyes. That property of the zodiac was forever lost now.

There were ways to make a summoning safer than just using the circle as a magic doorway. Ways to bind the demon, chain them with runes and arcane signs. He had learned a few things in the past thirty years... He had taken every precaution he knew and invented a few others. The ritual with the unicorn hair had protected the Shack pretty well during Weirdmageddon, so he included a variation in this summoning.

He finished the incantation. There was a tingle in the air. Black smoke twisted inside the circle. The candles flared blue.

The smoke took on a shape, but it was no yellow triangle and Ford clenched his teeth to keep the sudden boiling rage inside.

_How dare he._

He swallowed his anger and pushed the strand of unicorn hair into position. A faint rainbow shimmer enclosed the summoning circle for one glittering moment.

This had to work. This had to be enough to keep Bill inside.

The demon floated in the circle wearing Dippers shape, barring a few anomalies. Ford forced himself to concentrate on the differences and not the similarities. Look at the pupilless eyes with black sclera and burning golden irides - not at the birthmark half hidden behind that poofy brown hair. The glint of pointed teeth - not the familiar face around them. The long, clawlike nails - not the faded dotted scars on his arms.

Focusing on those scars helped to clear his head. Dipper had told him the story behind them, told him how Bill stuck forks in his stolen body and laughed at the pain.

This was not Dipper. Ford had to keep that in mind.

The look on his face was entirely Dipper though. Confused and dazed at first - did he mumble something about sheep? - but brightening into curiosity and glee as those demonic eyes gazed around.

"Grunkle Ford! Are you still - oh wow, we're inside the spaceship, aren't we? I don't think I've seen this room before."

"Yes," Ford said brusquely. "No games anymore, Cipher. We both know what you truly are."

The monster wearing his nephew's shape groaned. "This again? Grunkle Ford -"

"Quit pretending to be my nephew!" Ford gestured at his feet. "You're not fooling anyone! Your eyes are all wrong and you are _floating_ for crying out loud!"

"I noticed," Bill said. He sounded sheepish. "Maybe I'm a ghost? Not everyone can see me apparently. Some of the creatures in the forest seemed to, but when I went into town -"

"You are no _ghost!_ You are a _demon!_ "

Ford took a deep breath and attempted to force the anger down. This was exactly what Bill wanted. He couldn't give in. He needed to stay _focused_.

In the ringing silence following his words he could hear the crackling of the flames. Damn Bill Cipher. Even now he kept up the charade, painting Dipper's face with shock, confusion, fear.

He silently vowed he would give Bill something real to fear.

"As you may have noticed, you cannot escape this summoning circle," he went on with forced calm. "You are not leaving here. Not without accepting my deal."

At the mention of a deal, blue flames burst from Bill's hand. Bill frowned, pretending to be puzzled, and the fire dispersed.

"My offer is this: you will restore the barrier containing the supernatural to Gravity Falls and the other hot spots in the world. You will return the soul and body of Dipper Pines unharmed to us. You will leave this reality, return to the Nightmare Realm and _you will never see or hurt my family again_."

"I - I can't do that."

Ford pretended not to hear Bill's protest. "In return, I will release you from this circle. Do we have a deal? Don't underestimate me, Cipher. I can keep you here indefinitly if I have to."

He was asking for a lot. Bill was powerful - he had destoyed Time Baby after all - but maybe not even he could restore the dead. Yet Ford had to try, for his family's sake. If necessary he could sweeten the deal and offer his own life and soul. He bet Bill would love such an opportunity for revenge.

"You don't understand, Grunkle Ford. I literally _can't_ -"

Something crashed against the metal vault door. Ford heard buzzing, then another crash. It sounded familiar...

The security system! Bill must have reactivated it somehow...

"Nice try Cipher," Ford said, as the metal door trembled. "The security system will not help you. They cannot get inside this vault and even if they did, I know how to deactivate them."

A cloud of dust drifted from the ceiling. Bill sneezed like a kitten.

Ford froze.

How far would Bill's deception go? He had to realize Ford wasn't buying his lies, why would he bother to keep it up? Why would he keep pretending to be Dipper?

Why would he even _sneeze_ like Dipper? He was an incorporeal dream demon!

_(to mess with your mind)_

_(he knows your doubts)_

_(he has tricked you before)_

His thoughts were interrupted by a scream.

It sounded like -

"Mabel!"

The binding circle rippled and crackled as Bill strained against it. "Let me oͩuͮͦt!" he yelled, his voice slipping into a demonic buzz. "Ḿabe̕l͏ is ̛i͜n t̙͇́r̸͔o͕̗u̶͚b̠l͙̫̗̀e̺̜̫̱!"

Not real, it was a trick, it had to be a trick, Mabel didn't even know about the existence of this space ship - but damn it all, Ford couldn't take the risk. He grabbed his gun and slammed the release switch for the vault door.

There she was. Three security bots had driven her in one of the triangular corners of the room, their oversized guns trained on her.

"Try to calm down!" he advised, as she screamed and used a broken metal lever as a bat to slam into the nearest bot's eye sensor. "If you show no chemical signs of fear they will back down!"

Symbols flashed red in the other bots' gleaming frontal plates. Damn it all! They had classified her as a threat, the only option now was to disable them all before the security system decided to send others.

He managed to shoot one before the rest came pouring out of the hallway and now there were at least twenty, thirty of the damn things, every single one of them intent to capture or kill the threat to the ship -

A faint tingle in the back of his head as he felt the binding circle in the vault behind him pop.

This had been Bill's plan all along. He was a fool.

Blue flames devoured all he could see. A few heart-stopping seconds the world seemed to tilt and shiver.

The fire disappeared. The bots were nothing more than smoldering, disassembled parts strewn all over the floor. Ford struggled to his feet. Miraculously he didn't seem to be hurt, but Mabel had been a lot closer to the fire -

There she was, still standing, the metal lever still raised up and ready to hit something. Unharmed, though her eyes were wide as she stared at something Ford couldn't see.

"Dipper," she breathed. "It **_is_** you."

"No," Ford said, though his voice wobbled a bit. He couldn't be certain of anything anymore. Why would Bill save them? If this really was one big acting performance, Ford had completely lost the plot.

Mabel was still talking to thin air.

"What do you mean, you're too tired to stay? You're finally back, I'm not letting you - where are you going? Dipper?"

A short silence. She frowned. "... he's gone."

Ford shook his head. He felt too old for this.

"How did you even find me?" he asked, dragging a hand over his face.

Mabel shrugged. "Sooo I _might_ have borrowed a tracking device from your secret underground lab."

"But the pillars, you need a magnet gun to get down here -"

She flourished her grappling hook.

He really should have expected this.


	4. Part Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stanley has a Talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short and I didn't plan on adding another chapter. But this would not stop bugging me so I had to write it to get it out of my head.

**Part four**

 

"You're an ass."

Ford looked up from his notes. He looked like the aftermath of an epic Vegas bender, but without the fun parts. Groggy, sweaty, pretty much dead on his feet.

"Also, you need a shower."

Ford's shoulders tensed. "Did you come down here just to insult me or is there any point to this interruption, Stanley? As you can see I am quite busy."

"You haven't eaten since yesterday and I'll bet you haven't slept a wink since it happened," Stan said. "Come upstairs and grab a bite. And a shower. I really wasn't kidding about the shower part."

He knew why his brother had holed up down here, of course. He might not be as book clever as Ford, but he knew how people ticked. Besides, he had seen Mabel's scrapbook. The page about her unicorn adventure was suspiciously empty of any tufts of rainbow hair.

"I am fine down here. I have plenty of supplies and I really need to focus -"

"You made a new protection thingy down here, didn't you?"

Ford put down his pen. "I did not agree when you and Mabel broke the protection circle around the Shack," he said. "Since neither of you would listen to my arguments, I took the precaution of making at least _one_ part of the house demon-proof."

"Dipper-proof, you mean."

For all his obvious tiredness Ford's gaze was still sharp. "You are certain then? You believe that actually is Dipper?"

Damn it all, Stan didn't want to think about this. It was bad enough upstairs, seeing Mabel talk to empty air, sensing nothing more than an unpleasant tingle in the air when - according to Mabel - Dipper was in the room with them. He was usually pretty good at ferreting out lies and scams. He was a conman after all. It was a hell of a lot more difficult if you couldn't see their body language or hear their voice.

"I don't know," he admitted. That seemed to give Ford pause. Ha! He wasn't Mabel, young and quick to think the best of everyone. "I can't be certain of anything. I don't know this shit, I never dealt with demons before. For all I know this is the normal way they are 'born' or whatever. I _do_ know that the only guy with _any_ experience in this demon mess is hiding in the damn cellar."

"I'm trying my best," Ford said. "I have been researching -"

"You're running yerself into the ground, Fordsie. Eat. Sleep. Take a damn shower! And show your face to the kids. I'm no doctor, but I bet research goes a lot better if you're actually seeing your research subject."

Ugh. Bad choice of words there. But it seemed something had made it through his brother's thick head.

"You're right," Ford said. "I should have some proper dinner - if you'll just bring down some -"

Stan groaned. "You're missing the point." Sheesh, his brother had definitely inherited the Pines stubborn streak. "You're avoiding Dipper. I get it. You think he's actually Bill. Sure. But listen to this: if this is all a big trick of Bill's, then we'll deal with it. Mabel's clever, she won't be fooled for long. In that case we should keep an eye on her so we'll be there to punch that one-eyed dorito back to whatever nightmare he crawled out of." Stan took a deep breath. "But _if he actually is Dipper_ , well, then he's probably even more messed up and confused than we are, and he'll need _you_ to figure this shit out so we can help him."

In one frustrated move Ford threw all his papers and notes from the table. "Damn you Stanley! I'm trying but I don't know HOW! This is unprecedented, nothing I've come across in all my research is any help, and if he _**is**_ Dipper then he's _still a **demon**_ and who _knows_ what that will do to his mind, what will be left of his humanity? Demons have a completely different moral compass, they live for lies and trickery!" He barked a joyless laugh. "Maybe it's you he needs, not me. I can't help him turn human. But you could probably give him a few pointers on how to be a better demon."

A barbed silence.

"You're an ass, Ford," Stan said, and left, slamming the door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all folks! What happens next can fit in pretty well with the TAU canon, I think? 
> 
> Maybe there'll be some more Ford. TAU needs more Ford. He's got the most experience with demons (and the most issues, ha!).
> 
> I'm not done with TAU though. So many ideas, so little time...


End file.
